date: Thursday, March 31, 2005 @ 9:35 pm
title: Outcast..
An outcast of my past and my present.
Love people, trying my best to relate myself with them.
I have tried. I have done my very best.
But now, I'm so tired of striving to keep up with everyone.
Now..
not that I'm complainting or what.
But my efforts might sometimes seem to be futile,
when people closed themselves from me.
Am I that unwelcomed in their life?
Or time is the factor that reframed them.
SAJC. A great college.. my dream college.
To fight for my dream, I discarded my past.
Looking forward to new faces and compound,
I was deeply felt intruding to other's terrorities.
Is it me? Maybe..
I discarded the thoughts of SRJC. Fishtank. Grandstand.
Everything tiny bity of memories of that..
I tried to be receptive and adaptive.
I did it with OG2 of SAJC..
Everyone just clicked,
but again separated by time.
For time isn't kind. Harsh departure into a brand new class..
I was given my combination of my choice,
but the class wasn't what I have imagined...
I became an intruder, an outcast to them.
Sociable, I was..
Unacceptance was the reaction.
Was it me again??
I reflected and asked God,
"What's wrong?"
Even before, I have the chance to relfect..
Pockets of people were seen.
My class was separating. Broken, it was.
Many that weren't supposed to be there,
appeared and distorted the spirit of the class.
'I missed you!'
They blasted without considering the people around them.
Hugs and kisses filled the air.
A distinct deviation was focused at their old bloods.
Who am I going to blame?
No one. Except myself for getting jealousy.
The price to pay..
Things would change..
I believe. Time is what I need.
Orientation's over.
Honeymoon's over.
I'm stepping into a new room.
Room for improvements and pruning.
'Missing SRJC' will not be the excuse for my reluctantness.
I must scrap it off my mind.
Friends forever.
But memory can't stay still and not move.
Move along and see that happen next.
The Next BIG Thing might be just me.
Learn to love.
Being an outcast might just do the trick to be more outspoken.
Not to bow down to disappointment and discouragement.
Up and On..
SAJC is my earthly life now.
